


Grisha Gang's Groupchat

by wyrmsandrocs



Series: Modern Grisha Gang [2]
Category: The Grisha Trilogy - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, F/M, I love him, That kinda shit, aleks is really curses and offensive magic, aleks keeps an eye on kazs group, alina works in sigils and energy work, and no i dont mean hollywood witches, and notices some untraditional pairings, anti-mal, calls on storms for spells, eh, genya mainly works with glamours, hes a fuck, hes a stellar/cosmic witch, hes also possesive, him and kaz have a ridiculous rivalry, i do not like him, i mean like within the realm of possibility witches, ill add more charas as they appear, its a++, malaria shows up, maybe some of aleks's stuff is a little far but, moon magin too, some healing shit, still p close, tbh hes awful, texting au, the dregs will come in, the grisha gang are the popular kids, they are all witches, zoya works with storms and rain
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-30
Updated: 2017-05-11
Packaged: 2018-10-25 17:16:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10768815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wyrmsandrocs/pseuds/wyrmsandrocs
Summary: The_Darkling added The_Sun_Summoner, WitchBitch, and FairestOfThemAll to the chat.The_Sun_Summoner changed the chat topic to Why Didn’t We Have A Group Chat BeforeWitchBitch: cause Aleks kicked us all out then leftFairestOfThemAll: weve actually gone through several chats like thatThe_Darkling: If you all weren’t so hard to put up with we wouldn’t have to.Texting AU with the Grisha gang. Zoya and Genya are gay. Aleks is a possessive ass. Alina loves him anyway. Their highschool and witchy shenanigans.





	1. Gregory Gang

**Author's Note:**

> The_Darkling - Aleks 
> 
> The_Sun_Summoner - Alina (he got her to change hers to match his what a dork)
> 
> WitchBitch - Zoya
> 
> FairestOfThemAll - Genya

The_Darkling added The_Sun_Summoner, WitchBitch, and FairestOfThemAll to the chat.

The_Sun_Summoner changed the chat topic to Why Didn’t We Have A Group Chat Before

WitchBitch: cause Aleks kicked us all out then left

FairestOfThemAll: weve actually gone through several chats like that

The_Darkling: If you all weren’t so hard to put up with we wouldn’t have to.

FairestOfThemAll: youre in a good mood today aleks

WitchBitch: Lmao yeah we’re the ones that are hard to put up with mister emo-er than thou

The_Sun_Summoner: *yall @aleks

FairestOfThemAll: gdi alina

FairestOfThemAll: he was right in the first place. You. All.

The_Sun_Summoner: YALL

The_Darkling: Alina, I love you, but why do you keep doing this?

The_Darkling: eMOER THAN THOU???

WitchBitch: you read me

The_Sun_Summoner changed her name to Y A L L

FairestOfThemAll: aLINA PLEASE

Y A L L: please what? *bats eyelashes innocently*

FairestOfThemAll: …

FairestOfThemAll: I hate you sm I s2g

Y A L L: you looooove meeeeee

FairestOfThemAll: …

FairestOfThemAll: gdi

The_Darkling: Wait what

WitchBitch: oh calm down shes not trying to steal your girl

Y A L L: who says im /his/ girl

The_Darkling: asdfghjkl

The_Darkling: Alina please try not to kill me.

Y A L L: …

Y A L L: no promises…

WitchBitch: yes, alina, be gentle to the dorkling

WitchBitch: hes very sensitive

Y A L L: ; )

The_Darkling: aASDFGHJKL

The_Darkling: aLINA PLEASE

Y A L L: please what? ; )

FairestOfThemAll: omfg you two

The_Darkling: Alina I cant kiss you if I’m DEAD.

Y A L L: p good reason for keeping you alive then

Y A L L: I guess…

Y A L L: jk jk ilysm <3

The_Darkling: <3

WitchBitch: you are nasty

Y A L L: *yall

FairestOfThemAll has left Why Didn’t We Have A Group Chat Before

WitchBitch: now look what you did

WitchBitch: you chased Genya away

WitchBitch: uncultured country orphan

Y A L L: wHAT DID YOU SAY ABT ME B I T C H

The_Darkling: WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT ALINA

Y A L L: I got this one babe chill

The_Darkling: you go baby

Y A L L: I AM NO SUCH THING

WitchBitch: sure jan

Y A L L ejected WitchBitch from Why Didn’t We Have A Group Chat Before

The_Darkling: See, this is why we didn’t have a group chat.

 

Y A L L added The_Darkling, WitchBitch, and FairestOfThemAll to the chat

Y A L L change the chat topic to Grisha Gang

WitchBitch: ahh yes

WitchBitch: the dreaded coven

WitchBitch: the Gregory Gang

WitchBitch: truly terrifying

FairestOfThemAll: wtf alina

The_Darkling: I gotta agree with them here, babe.

The_Darkling: What the metaphorical fuck.

Y A L L: idk it sounded cool and it’s the title of a short story by the star trek dude

FairestOfThemAll: alina that’s ‘cause it’s a n a m e

WitchBitch: that means gregory

Y A L L: who besides you knows that tho zoya

Y A L L: literally no one

FairestOfThemAll: probably russian people

WitchBitch: genya safin? Defending me? Im honored!

FairestOfThemAll: oh shush you

The_Darkling: …

FairestOfThemAll: what…

The_Darkling: Nothing…

Y A L L: anyway no one shall leave or be ejected from this chat

Y A L L: so sayeth

Y A L L changed her name to THE LAW

FairestOfThemAll: holy shit and I thought /I/ was extra

WitchBitch: Im out

WitchBitch has left Grisha Gang

THE LAW has added WitchBitch to the chat Grisha Gang

WitchBitch: aw fuck

FairestOfThemAll: sigh

FairestOfThemAll: at least we’re trapped here together

The_Darkling: …

FairestOfThemAll: what???

The_Darkling: Nothing at all…

WitchBitch: what are you looking at dorkling

THE LAW: don’t be so mean to him 

The_Darkling: You know what, Zoya?

WitchBitch: oh fuck…

The_Darkling: Hey, Genya

The_Darkling: Do you know that Nazyalensky has had a crush on you since the 5th grade?

WitchBitch: like hell I have

The_Darkling: I know you do. I have all the proof you want, Genya.

WitchBitch: You filthy conniving douchebag I hate you

WitchBitch has left Grisha Gang

FairestOfThemAll: wait what really

FairestOfThemAll: shit zoya

FairestOfThemAll: thanks aleks but also fuck the hell off

The_Darkling: You are most welcome.

FairestOfThemAll: I need to talk to her

FairestOfThemAll: I’ll make another chat later

FairestOfThemAll has left Grisha Gang

THE LAW: holy shit

THE LAW: that was uncalled for

The_Darkling: Oh hush I know you love it when I pull shit like that.

THE LAW has changed her name to Guilty

Guilty: damn right

Guilty: ; )

The_Darkling: it’s just us now…

Guilty has renamed the chat Unfit For Human Eyes

 

FairestOfThemAll and WitchBitch

 

FairestOfThemAll: zoya?

WitchBitch: listen genya aleks is a douche don’t listen to him im sorry

FairestOfThemAll: its okay zoya

WitchBitch: I know I know

WitchBitch: youre the great genya safin and everyone in school has had some kind of crush on you at point or another

WitchBitch: im sure your used to girls having crushes on you so you dont find it gross anymore

WitchBitch: I know that this is a stupid childhood crush and that I should get over it

WitchBitch: so lets forget he ever said that and you can try to forget I like you that way

WitchBitch: bye genya

FairestOfThemAll: wAIT

WitchBitch: what

FairestOfThemAll: I dont think its weird at all and like ive never thought girls liking me was gross

FairestOfThemAll: ever

FairestOfThemAll: cause I like girls too

WitchBitch: wait what

WitchBitch: you do?

FairestOfThemAll: yeah ive liked girls since forever

FairestOfThemAll: and um well

FairestOfThemAll: I’ve liked you since forever too???

WitchBitch: …

WitchBitch: wait seriously?

WitchBitch: this isn’t some gross joke?

FairestOfThemAll: of course not

WitchBitch: holy shit

WitchBitch: h o l y s h I t

FairestOfThemAll: are you okay

WitchBitch: yes?

WitchBitch: I cant believe it omfg that fucker actually did some good

FairestOfThemAll: he wasn’t sure he was doing good

FairestOfThemAll: he had a hunch

WitchBitch: I’m still gonna murder him then

WitchBitch: but oh my lord

FairestOfThemAll: im feelin that oml vibe here too

WitchBitch: *vibe*

FairestOfThemAll: n o oh my god

WitchBitch: so can I take you to dinner on friday?

FairestOfThemAll: wouldnt miss it for the world


	2. Of Snark and Possibly Harmful Potions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aleksander is just a tad controlling, Alina loves him anyway.

FairestOfThemAll has added WitchBitch, The_Darkling, and Guilty to the chat

 

WitchBitch: do I even wanna know why alinas name is just Guilty

FairestOfThemAll: probably not

The_Darkling: You might want to know, but that doesn’t mean you’re going to find out.

Guilty: u and ur formal ass typing

The_Darkling: At least mine is legible.

FairestOfThemAll: aleksander all typing is legible

The_Darkling: God dammit you can’t see my expression through the screen.

WitchBitch: like we’d want to see your face anyway 

The_Darkling: Are you sure you want to test me, Nazyalensky?

FairestOfThemAll: oh lay off her aleks

The_Darkling: I’m not in the mood for this you two, last thing I did wasn’t destructive, but please do see what else might happen.

WitchBitch: alina for gods sakes try to calm down aleks

Guilty: wish I could zoya but no can do

FairestOfThemAll: I swear to god alina if you make an innuendo

Guilty: hes the more controlling one ; )

The_Darkling: Alina. I swear to god.

WitchBitch: I can’t believe i’m actually friends with you all

FairestOfThemAll: nO ALINA

Guilty: *YALL

FairestOfThemAll: oh good god why are you like this

Guilty: shh im great

FairestOfThemAll: fuck 

FairestOfThemAll: yeah you are ily

WitchBitch: before aleks has an aneurysm

WitchBitch: no genya and alina arent dating

The_Darkling: I know that, Nazyalensky.

WitchBitch: why the fuck do you keep using my last name

The_Darkling: Why do you care?

WitchBitch: cause you’re a confusing mystery of a person and I want to figure you outburst

The_Darkling: Hm, no.

WitchBitch: no what?

Guilty has changed her name to YAINT

FairestOfThemAll: asdfghjkl

FairestOfThemAll: aLINA

FairestOfThemAll: its you. All. Are. Not.

YAINT: YAINT SHIT

WitchBitch: alina please why do you do this

YAINT: cause yaint shit

The_Darkling: Alina, no more yaint antics right now please.

YAINT: sigh

YAINT changed her name to Snark-ov

Snark-ov: fiiiiiiine

The_Darkling: Thank you.

WitchBitch: I am endlessly confused by you two

FairestOfThemAll: ill debrief you later lmao

Snark-ov: aleks is glaring at your name btw genya

FairestOfThemAll: oh let him glare

FairestOfThemAll: he wont do anything

The_Darkling: Is that a challenge, Safin?

FairestOfThemAll: no but you wont do anything

FairestOfThemAll: cause you dont want alina to be mad at you

WitchBitch: oh don’t push him genya

WitchBitch: nothing good comes from that

FairestOfThemAll: something good came from it last time

Snark-ov: wait what

WitchBitch: nothing

FairestOfThemAll: zoya and I are going on a date on friday

WitchBitch: oh

FairestOfThemAll: oh

FairestOfThemAll: sorry

WitchBitch: no it’s fine

FairestOfThemAll: oh okay

Snark-ov: oh

Snark-ov: my

Snark-ov: god

WitchBitch: aleks if you so much as smirk

Snark-ov: hes smirking

WitchBitch: asdfghjkl

WitchBitch: I told you not to

The_Darkling: Do you think I listen to anyone but myself?

WitchBitch: you listen to alina

The_Darkling: Only when it suits me.

FairestOfThemAll: good god your relationship amazes me

Snark-ov: *yalls relationship

The_Darkling: Alina…

Snark-ov: right sorry

WitchBitch: how are you two still together

Snark-ov: why wouldn’t we be???

WitchBitch: oh my god

WitchBitch: well ya see your dear love has this 

WitchBitch: hm how shall I put it

FairestOfThemAll: zoya no

WitchBitch: a possessive and controlling nature

Snark-ov: yeah

Snark-ov: and

WitchBitch: asdfghjkl

WitchBitch: you’re not getting it

Snark-ov: oh hush our relationship is none of your business

The_Darkling: I love you, Alina.

Snark-ov: ilyt <3

FairestOfThemAll: why are you like this alina

Snark-ov: sh

Snark-ov: its fine

FairestOfThemAll: alina…

The_Darkling: You all heard Alina, it’s fine.

FairestOfThemAll: thank god for the you all decree

Snark-ov: …

The_Darkling: Go ahead.

Snark-ov: *yall

FairestOfThemAll: I hate you both

Snark-ov: we love you too lmao

The_Darkling: I tolerate you.

WitchBitch: why are you so overly cold aleks we know you looooove us

FairestOfThemAll: don’t poke the bear zoya

WitchBitch: it’s fun tho

Snark-ov: wait whats yalls ship name

Snark-ov: hmmm

Snark-ov: Genyoya?

FairestOfThemAll: please no

Snark-ov: zenya?

WitchBitch: not as bad

Snark-ov: IVE GOT IT

Snark-ov: genzoynya

Snark-ov: ya know

Snark-ov: like nya

FairestOfThemAll: can I leave

The_Darkling: No.

WitchBitch: can I?

The_Darkling: No one leaves.

WitchBitch: ughhhh

WitchBitch: why do you do this alina

WitchBitch: you are like a walking meme

FairestOfThemAll: and dont worry aleks thats not an insult

WitchBitch: it is if you’d kick me from the chat

The_Darkling: I wouldn’t.

WitchBitch: then it’s not

The_Darkling: Hm.

Snark-ov: do you ever wonder if youve accidentally made alcohol

FairestOfThemAll: um no

WitchBitch: wtf

The_Darkling: Good god, Alina, what did you do?

Snark-ov: so remember a while ago i said i was gonna make a healing thing

Snark-ov: and put rainwater cloves rosemary and rose petals in a jar

FairestOfThemAll: oh my god

The_Darkling: Oh no.

Snark-ov: well now it smells like alcohol

WitchBitch: taste it and find out

FairestOfThemAll: oh my fucking god zoya

The_Darkling: I swear to god, Alina, don’t you dare drink that shit.

Snark-ov: im doin it

FairestOfThemAll: alina

FairestOfThemAll: was it alcohol?

The_Darkling: No, it wasn’t. She says it was just really, really gross. She’s drinking water and trying to wash the taste away now.

FairestOfThemAll: dont kill her okay

WitchBitch: yeah no murder

The_Darkling: Don’t worry, I would never kill her.

Snark-ov: aw thats so sweet lmao

The_Darkling: That doesn’t mean I’m not going to do something about this.

The_Darkling: Don’t burn down the chat while I’m gone.

Snark-ov: he set his phone down

FairestOfThemAll: that was cryptic

WitchBitch: gdi I hope he doesnt do anything wacky

FairestOfThemAll: if you need to come crash my door is always open

Snark-ov: thanks

Snark-ov: im following him

Snark-ov: hes goin into my room wth

FairestOfThemAll: whats he doing alina

Snark-ov: one sec

WitchBitch: oh no

FairestOfThemAll: you had to encourage her didnt you zoya

WitchBitch: what it’s fun

FairestOfThemAll: Im breaking up with you

WitchBitch: wE’RE DATING?

Snark-ov: that asshole

Snark-ov: he just took all my herbs

Snark-ov: hE STOLE MY JARS THAT BITCH

Snark-ov: IF HE TOUCHES MY CRYSTALS IM GONNA MURDER HIM

FairestOfThemAll: no jury would convict

WitchBitch: i’d totally help

Snark-ov: oh thank god he didnt

Snark-ov: he did however take away my jars and herbs

The_Darkling: I’m back.

Snark-ov: what the fuck was that for asshole

The_Darkling: I told you not to drink the whatever that was.

Snark-ov: yeah but you took all my shit

The_Darkling: Only the things that went into that concoction.

Snark-ov: dickhead

The_Darkling: Now now, Alina, don’t get like that.

FairestOfThemAll: wth aleks

WitchBitch: you took her stuff thats not okay

The_Darkling: Who knows what that thing could have done to her.

WitchBitch: oh come on like this is really about whether that thing could have hurt her

WitchBitch: you just dont like it when she doesnt listen to you

The_Darkling: Are you really making assumptions about my motives?

FairestOfThemAll: you know shes right aleks

The_Darkling: And if she is?

Snark-ov: its all fine yall i was gonna start focusing more on my energy work anyway

FairestOfThemAll: if you say so

WitchBitch: fine

 

The_Darkling and Snark-ov

 

The_Darkling: How long did that jar sit?

Snark-ov: 20 days ish

The_Darkling: I’ll give you your things back in 20 days then.

Snark-ov: ok

The_Darkling: And, Aina, you know I’m not mad at you, right?

Snark-ov: yeah i do

Snark-ov: that wasnt a smart thing of me to do

The_Darkling: Okay, as long as you know that.

The_Darkling: Will you come and sit with me again?

Snark-ov: ill be right there

Snark-ov: why did I text that its just down the hall

Snark-ov: eh whatever

Snark-ov: I love you aleksander

The_Darkling: I love you too, Alina.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope i was able to pull off modern!Aleksander well enough! I swear this fic (and more specifically the darkling) will be the death of me. 
> 
> Hope y'all enjoyed! ^u^


	3. Of Ex Best Friends And Cockblocking Mothers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mal won't stop chasing Alina. Aleks and Alina are kinky. These are completely unrelated.

FairestOfThemAll and Snark-ov

 

FairestOfThemAll: ahhh alina tonight zoya and I are going out!!!

Snark-ov: ahhh im so happy for you!!!

FairestOfThemAll: I dont know where were going yet but Im really excited

Snark-ov: sooooo

FairestOfThemAll: yes?

Snark-ov: maybe sometime we could all go on a double date

FairestOfThemAll: …

FairestOfThemAll: do you know how bad of an idea that is

Snark-ov: I think itd work fine

FairestOfThemAll: alina zoya and aleks dont exactly love each others company

FairestOfThemAll: I mean sure zoya doesnt mind hanging out with him at school and in the chat

FairestOfThemAll: buuuuuuut its kinda volatile when theyre both there

Snark-ov: yeah youre probs right

FairestOfThemAll: by the way have you figured out how to get your jars back

Snark-ov: nah he said that hed give em back in 20 days 

Snark-ov: cause thats how long the jar sat

FairestOfThemAll: and you really dont want to try and steal them back

Snark-ov: well I mean id like them back

Snark-ov: but I can work on other things in the meantime

Snark-ov: ive been working on an energy tether

Snark-ov: so that I can hook my crystals straight up to the sun

FairestOfThemAll: oooh thats cool

FairestOfThemAll: I wonder if that could work with my enchantments…

Snark-ov: probably

Snark-ov: I could teach you how once I figure it out

FairestOfThemAll: ooh yes please!

FairestOfThemAll: ahh I gotta go zoyas here

FairestOfThemAll: ily ttyl

Snark-ov: ilyt have a good time

FairestOfThemAll: will do

FairestOfThemAll: bye

Snark-ov: bye

 

Snark-ov and The_Darkling

 

Snark-ov: it was a good thing you did

Snark-ov: helping genya and zoya confess to each other

The_Darkling: If you tell me that I may actually regret it.

Snark-ov: lmao

Snark-ov: either way im glad theyre finally getting together

The_Darkling: This is their first date, Alina, don’t get your hopes up.

Snark-ov: I am in the chat  
Jars: confiscated  
Hopes: up  
Dick: my boyfriend  
I MAY BE FORCIBLY MADE TO DELETE THIS MESSAGE

The_Darkling: Alina, really?

Snark-ov: whew maybe that last line was wrong 

The_Darkling: Don’t tempt me.

Snark-ov: aw cmon you know you love me

The_Darkling: That I do.

Snark-ov: <3

The_Darkling: <3

Snark-ov: why am I in the other room again?

The_Darkling: I do believe it had something to do with avoiding being tickled.

Snark-ov: right im stayin here

The_Darkling: Not even if I said I wouldn’t tickle you?

Snark-ov: you are a known liar

The_Darkling: What if I promised kisses?

Snark-ov: I shallnt be swayed

The_Darkling: Do you mean shan’t?

Snark-ov: no I mean shallnt

The_Darkling: Why do you insist on doing things like this?

Snark-ov changed her name to BECAUSE I CAN

BECAUSE I CAN: does that answer your question

The_Darkling: Unfortunately, yes.

BECAUSE I CAN: oh shit mal just messaged me

The_Darkling: I’ll deal with him.

BECAUSE I CAN: no ill talk to him

BECAUSE I CAN: but I need a name change first

BECAUSE I CAN has changed her name to I Fucked Aleksander Behind The Bleachers

The_Darkling: No.

I Fucked Aleksander Behind The Bleachers: why not

The_Darkling: Because it will make the situation worse.

I Fucked Aleksander Behind The Bleachers: fine…

I Fucked Aleksander Behind The Bleachers has changed her name to Property Of Aleksander

The_Darkling: No.

Property Of Aleksander: aww I thought you would like that one

The_Darkling: Oh, I do,

The_Darkling: But the last thing we need is enraging the boy who’s stalking you.

Property Of Aleksander: true

Property Of Aleksander has changed her name to Protected By Darkness

Protected By Darkness: like it?

The_Darkling: It’s perfect.

Protected By Darkness: okay good

The_Darkling: Let me know if you need my help.

Protected By Darkness: I will

 

360_NoScoper and Protected By Darkness

 

360_NoScoper: oh is your stalker afraid I don’t know your “his?”

Protected By Darkness: no.

360_NoScoper: then why such a possessive name?

360_NoScoper: its almost pathetic

Protected By Darkness: says the guy who hasnt changed his name since making an account.

Protected By Darkness: look mal I dont want to argue

Protected By Darkness: I just want you to leave me alone

Protected By Darkness: im happy with aleksander

Protected By Darkness: he cares about me

Protected By Darkness: which is more than I can say about you

360_NoScoper: hes a creep alina

360_NoScoper: hes controlling and possessive and gross

360_NoScoper: if you had an ounce of sense you would leave him

Protected By Darkness: and go where mal?

Protected By Darkness: come back to you so I can watch you be with other girls?

Protected By Darkness: no

Protected By Darkness: im never going back to that

360_NoScoper: but alina

360_NoScoper: I know you think hes sweet but hes just a creepy douchebag

Protected By Darkness: hm maybe you should look in the mirror

Protected By Darkness: goodbye mal

Protected By Darkness has blocked 360_NoScoper

 

The_Darkling and Protected By Darkness

 

The_Darkling: Alina? How did it go?

Protected By Darkness: eugh

Protected By Darkness: he kept insisting he was better for me than you are

Protected By Darkness: I blocked him

The_Darkling: You did?

Protected By Darkness: yeah I just hope he takes the hint this time

The_Darkling: Don’t worry, Alina, I won’t let him bother you.

Protected By Darkness: im coming over there to kiss you

The_Darkling: I thought you said you shalln’t be swayed to come back to me.

Protected By Darkness changed her name to Property Of Aleksander

Property Of Aleksander: well I am a known liar

The_Darkling: Lying is wrong, you know.

Property Of Aleksander: maybe you need to teach me a lesson then ; )

The_Darkling: If you would stop texting me and come into my room I would gladly oblige.

Property Of Aleksander: it would be my pleasure

 

Property Of Aleksander has changed the chat topic to BAGHRA IS A COCKBLOCK TEXT IT

 

Property Of Aleksander: why was there no chat topic yet

WitchBitch: more important question

WitchBitch: why is your name...that

FairestOfThemAll: wait

FairestOfThemAll: that name

FairestOfThemAll: paired with that chat title

FairestOfThemAll: means you two had kinky-ass sex

Property Of Aleksander: *tried to have

The_Darkling: Alina…

Property Of Aleksander: what? You said lying was a *punishable* offense

WitchBitch: bye guys nice knowin ya 

WitchBitch has left BAGHRA IS A COCKBLOCK TEXT IT

FairestOfThemAll has added WitchBitch to BAGHRA IS A COCKBLOCK TEXT IT

WitchBitch: et tu genya

FairestOfThemAll: sorry love but I had to

The_Darkling: Alina and I will be back in a moment.

The_Darkling has ejected Property Of Aleksander from BAGHRA IS A COCKBLOCK TEXT IT

FairestOfThemAll: is she dead?

WitchBitch: she is soooo dead

FairestOfThemAll: I actually dont think she minds tho

WitchBitch: kinky bitch

 

The_Darkling and Property Of Aleksander

 

The_Darkling: Change your name.

Property Of Aleksander: to what?

The_Darkling: Anything other than that.

Property Of Aleksander has changed her name to Pure Cinnamon Roll

The_Darkling: Alina, my love, my sweet, my dearest, why the fuck did you say that?

Pure Cinnamon Roll: Aleksander, my darling, why the fuck wouldnt I have said that?

The_Darkling: Maybe because they don’t need to know what we do when we’re alone.

Pure Cinnamon Roll: they dont need to know but I mean it isnt anything to freak out over

Pure Cinnamon Roll: they knew we were into wacky shit anyway

The_Darkling: Yes, but there was no need to just come out and say it.

Pure Cinnamon Roll: maybe I just wanted to

The_Darkling: Alina, that isn’t a good enough reason.

Pure Cinnamon Roll: look im sorry that you didnt like me saying that 

Pure Cinnamon Roll: but theyre our friends

Pure Cinnamon Roll: and it was a joke

The_Darkling: I know they’re our friends and that it was a joke.

The_Darkling: Thank you.

The_Darking: And, Alina, for what it’s worth, I do have to agree with you on the chat topic.

The_Darkling: My mother does have a habit of coming home at the most unfortunate times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh thank you so much to yall that commented it means the world to me! I'm honestly not sure where this fic is going, but I'm having fun writing the darklina! Lemme know what you think!


	4. Collar v. Choker and the Meme Ban Decree

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's Aleksander being controlling and Alina being kinky. Now with more Nina Zenik!

FairestOfThemAll and Pure Cinnamon Roll

 

FairestOfThemAll: first of all omfg your name is a l I e

Pure Cinnamon Roll: it is no such thing

FairestOfThemAll: we both know you are literally 

FairestOfThemAll: so fucking kinky

Pure Cinnamon Roll: s l a n d e r

FairestOfThemAll: nope

FairestOfThemAll: I speak only truth

FairestOfThemAll: anyway

FairestOfThemAll: *long inhale*

FairestOfThemAll: zOYA KISSED ME I AM DYING

Pure Cinnamon Roll: OMFGGGG SHE DID HOLY SHIT

Pure Cinnamon Roll: is she a good kisser

Pure Cinnamon Roll: she looks like shed be a good kisser

FairestOfThemAll: tbh yes im crying shes so amazing and I am in love

Pure Cinnamon Roll: im honestly so happy for you

FairestOfThemAll: thank you im like so happy and in love and gay

Pure Cinnamon Roll: didnt you just say you were straight for david last week

FairestOfThemAll: I AM BOTH GAY AND STRAIGHT

FairestOfThemAll: IM PAN MOTHERFUCKER

Pure Cinnamon Roll: lmaoooooo

Pure Cinnamon Roll: honestly tho im so glad you two finally got together

FairestOfThemAll: me tooooooooo

FairestOfThemAll: lmao your boyfriend actually did some good for once

Pure Cinnamon Roll: are you saying im not good lmao

FairestOfThemAll: good god im concerned

FairestOfThemAll: I hope you two dont fuck as much as you imply you do

Pure Cinnamon Roll: lmfaoooo

FairestOfThemAll: kinkshaming

Pure Cinnamon Roll: fucking do it

Pure Cinnamon Roll: I deserve to be shamed lmao

FairestOfThemAll: aLINA THATS KINKY

Pure Cinnamon Roll: *sigh* I knowledge

Pure Cinnamon Roll: *know wtf auto correct

FairestOfThemAll: lmao

 

WitchBitch has added Pure Cinnamon Roll to BAGHRA IS A COCKBLOCK TEXT IT

 

WitchBitch: alina your name is so wrong

Pure Cinnamon Roll: you have zero (0) proof of that claim

WitchBitch: how about that lITERAL COLLAR THAT ALEKS GOT YOU

Pure Cinnamon Roll: its a choker and its rlly pretty shush

WitchBitch: its a choker

WitchBitch: made of leather

WitchBitch: with the symbol he uses for himself in his magic as a pendant

WitchBitch: preeeeetty sure that’s a collar

Pure Cinnamon Roll: nope

Pure Cinnamon Roll: its a v v pretty choker I mean why would a collar be so detailed

FairestOfThemAll: alina a collar is a collar whether it has outlines of antlers on it or not

Pure Cinnamon Roll: thats no fair your only siding with her cause shes your gf

FairestOfThemAll: well nyeh

Pure Cinnamon Roll: *nya

WitchBitch: nOOO

The_Darkling: I leave the chat for five minutes…

WitchBitch: which side of this debate are you on aleks

WitchBitch: collar or choker?

FairestOfThemAll: collar

Pure Cinnamon Roll: choker

The_Darkling: Whatever Alina says it is.

WitchBitch: oh my god

FairestOfThemAll: is that a diplomatic way of saying collar

The_Darkling: No, it’s not.

The_Darkling: If Alina wishes to call it a choker she may, if she wishes to call it a collar she may. It’s not my place to decide what she calls her jewelry.

Pure Cinnamon Roll: see yall hes on my side here

FairestOfThemAll: asdfghjkl; aLINA

FairestOfThemAll: its a collar hon

WitchBitch: sigh 

WitchBitch: I doubt we can make her see reason

Pure Cinnamon Roll: I shallnt agree with yall abt it being a collar e v e r

FairestOfThemAll: aLINAAAAAA WHY

WitchBitch: that was just an excuse to say shalln’t wasn’t it

Pure Cinnamon Roll: yall have no proof

FairestOfThemAll: alina...why…

Pure Cinnamon Roll: you love meeeeee

FairestOfThemAll: someday that wont work…

FairestOfThemAll: that day is not today

The_Darkling: Has anyone else noticed that the two girls in Kaz’s group have been awfully affectionate, even though that the gymnast, Inej, is dating Kaz himself?

FairestOfThemAll: yeah I have

FairestOfThemAll: why

Pure Cinnamon Roll: ooh you think theyre together that would be cute

WitchBitch: okay but why is no one asking why /he/ has noticed it

The_Darkling: I need to keep tabs on that group. Kaz is a threat.

WitchBitch: a threat to what mister high and mighty?

The_Dakling: A threat to my reputation as the most intimidating person here.

WitchBitch: pfft

FairestOfThemAll: okay but like

FairestOfThemAll: now I wanna know if theyre dating

FairestOfThemAll: nina and inej I mean

FairestOfThemAll: im gonna ask nina brb

The_Darkling: No, Safin, don’t.

FairestOfThemAll: nyeh 

Pure Cinnamon Roll: tell me what you find out

FairestOfThemAll: will do

FairestOfThemAll: zoya add me back in a few

WitchBitch: will do

FairestOfThemAll has left BAGHRA IS A COCKBLOCK TEXT IT

Pure Cinnamon Roll: aleks is covering his face with his hands yall

WitchBitch: tell him not to kill my gf

Pure Cinnamon Roll: he says no promises

 

FairestOfThemAll and BigBiWitchBitch

 

FairestOfThemAll: niiiiiiina

FairestOfThemAll: niiinnnaaaaaaa

BigBiWitchBitch: hey genya whats up

FairestOfThemAll: psst

FairestOfThemAll: oh hey 

BigBiWitchBitch: lmao hey

FairestOfThemAll: okay so I have a very important question

BigBiWitchBitch: I might have a very important answer

BigBiWitchBitch: whats goin on

FairestOfThemAll: are you dating Inej

BigBiWitchBitch: yesss I love her shes amazing

FairestOfThemAll: ahhh im so happy for you two! Oh my god!

BigBiWitchBitch: shes honestly great and wonderful and all my friends hear me talk about her a lot because I love her

FairestOfThemAll: she seems really nice

FairestOfThemAll: pretty much your whole group does

FairestOfThemAll: except kaz hes like almost as emo as aleks

BigBiWitchBitch: hes a dork dont talk to him 

FairestOfThemAll: if I did aleks might kill me haha

BigBiWitchBitch: why do you put up with him anyway

FairestOfThemAll: cause I love alina and hes okay

FairestOfThemAll: just kinda weird

FairestOfThemAll: OMG I JUST REALIZED

BigBiWitchBitch: WHAT

FairestOfThemAll: YOU STOLE MY GFS NAME

FairestOfThemAll: WELL AT LEAST PART OF IT

BigBiWitchBitch: WAIT WHAT ARE YOU DATING ALINA

FairestOfThemAll: god no aleks would flip his shit

FairestOfThemAll: zoya and I just got together and I love her so much shes great

BigBiWitchBitch: theres a pair I never would have bet on

BigBiWitchBitch: I hope it works out with you two 

BigBiWitchBitch: you deserve someone that makes you happy

FairestOfThemAll: thank you im glad you and inej are happy

FairestOfThemAll: is she also dating kaz

BigBiWitchBitch: yep

FairestOfThemAll: cool

BigBiWitchBitch: okay but

FairestOfThemAll: yeah?

BigBiWitchBitch: why has alina started wearing a collar

BigBiWitchBitch: is she like okay

FairestOfThemAll: yeahhhh her and aleks are just really really unthinkably kinky

BigBiWitchBitch: hm okay

FairestOfThemAll: shes convinced its just a choker

BigBiWitchBitch: I mean it might be but it has his symbol on it sooo…

FairestOfThemAll: yeah I try not to question them too much anymore lmao

BigBiWitchBitch: lmao sounds reasonable

BigBiWitchBitch: gah I need to go

BigBiWitchBitch: we should hang more

BigBiWitchBitch: if mister darkness will let you that is lmao

FairestOfThemAll: he will and we totally should

FairestOfThemAll: Ill talk to you later

BigBiWitchBitch: ttyl 

BigBiWitchBitch: bye (bi)

FairestOfThemAll: bye!

BigBiWitchBitch is now offline

 

WitchBitch has added FairestOfThemAll to BAGHRA IS A COCKBLOCK TEXT IT

 

Pure Cinnamon Roll: soooooo whats the news

FairestOfThemAll: yes nina and inej are dating and im super happy for them

WitchBitch: I knew that kaz and inej wouldnt last I mean have you seen kaz hes like nearly emotionless

FairestOfThemAll: nope inej and kaz are also dating

WitchBitch: hm

WitchBitch: okay then

Pure Cinnamon Roll: ooh im glad theyre all happy with that

The_Darkling: What the hell.

The_Darkling: So Inej is dating them both?

FairestOfThemAll: yeeeep

The_Darkling: That seems a little...untraditional…

WitchBitch: you, aleksander morozova, a pagan and a witch in a classically monotheistic society, and a male in a traditionally female craft, not to mention all of the weird shit in your relationship with alina, and all your weird modern additions to your craft, are calling their relationship untraditional

WitchBitch: wtf man

The_Darkling: …

The_Darkling: It doesn’t seem odd to you?

WitchBitch: not really but also just like dude

WitchBitch: your whole being is like pretty fuckin untraditional just a heads up

The_Darkling: Hm.

The_Darkling: Point taken.

Pure Cinnamon Roll has changed the chat topic to And once more is…

FairestOfThemAll: oh no

Pure Cinnamon Roll has changed her name to DECEARING EGG

WitchBitch: why

FairestOfThemAll: why alina why

DECEARING EGG: because memes

DECEARING EGG: none a yall can stop me

WitchBitch: pretty sure aleks can stop you

DECEARING EGG: nope none a yalls

The_Darkling: Is that a challenge?

FairestOfThemAll: im questioning my choice in friends

DECEARING EGG: mayyyyyybe

FairestOfThemAll: oh good god why do you two do this

WitchBitch: more importantly why do we put up with them

The_Darkling: Challenge accepted.

DECEARING EGG: ; )

DECEARING EGG: @zoya cause you love us

WitchBitch: why would you think that

DECEARING EGG: because your still here lmao

FairestOfThemAll: shes got you there

DECEARING EGG: one sec yall ima be afk for a few

WitchBitch: oh no

FairestOfThemAll: well this should be interesting

WitchBitch: yeah

WitchBitch: okay but what do you think is gonna happen

FairestOfThemAll: eh well find out soon

DECEARING EGG: sigh

FairestOfThemAll: speak of the devil

DECEARING EGG: aleks won

DECEARING EGG has changed her name to Sol Koroleva

FairestOfThemAll: oh my god what even happened

The_Darkling: A two day long meme ban.

WitchBitch: h o w t h e f u c k

The_Darkling: I have me ways.

The_Darkling: *I have my ways.

WitchBitch: aleks is a pirate text it

FairestOfThemAll: you just did

Sol Koroleva: sigh I shall miss you my friends *puts memes in the Meme FridgeTM seemingly oblivious to everything else happening*

The_Darkling: I could count that but I won’t. Ban goes into affect now. It ends Saturday morning.

FairestOfThemAll: haha were freeeeeee

Sol Koroleva: im not but whatever

WitchBitch: now I’m really curious and kind of concerned as to what happened

Sol Koroleva: he just said that for every meme until the ban is over hell ignore me for two hours

Sol Koroleva: more sad sighing

FairestOfThemAll: okay but does this work in verbal convos too

The_Darkling: Yes. Any meme that Alina initiates or participates in counts. We will, hopefully, get two whole days free of memeing.

Sol Koroleva: cue grumbling under breath

FairestOfThemAll: well see how long this holds up

FairestOfThemAll: ew its late

FairestOfThemAll: alas I need to sleep

FairestOfThemAll: ill see you all at school tomorrow

Sol Koroleva: see you at the hellhole

Sol Koroleva: ily sleep well!

WitchBitch: ily sleep well genya <3

FairestOfThemAll: ily2 <3

FairestOfThemAll: night all

FairestOfThemAll is now offline

The_Darkling: Alina and I sign off too. We’ll see you in the morning.

The_Darkling is now offline

Sol Koroleva: night zoya! Ttyl!

Sol Koroleva is now offline

WitchBitch: be safe you two lmao

WitchBitch: night

WitchBitch is now offline

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm having so much fun writing this but school is super hectic so sorry abt the lateness of the updates! Once again, comments are my life and i will love you forever! 
> 
> If you liked this you should definitely go check out the wonderful warning_dragon_country's fic "i think...i like her too" here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/10833000/chapters/24044367
> 
> It's basically the SoC crews groupchat with a through line of Kaz/Inej/Nina thats really fantastic.
> 
> Please tell me what you think of this chapter! ^u^


End file.
